Full Disclosure
By: Funfetti
A very good friend of mine took me to see a musical last week. (Shout out to friend, who is a huge supporter of the site and just celebrated her birthday yesterday!) Anyway, there was a scene in the first act where a family hosts their daughter’s boyfriend’s family for a special dinner and they decide to play a game called “full disclosure”… everyone has to take a sip out of a chalice and say one completely honest thing. Of course, it creates all kinds of mayhem between the characters and this is where Act 1 ends.
Here I am sipping from my chalice (a.k.a. purple water bottle) and giving you my FULL DISCLOSURE.
At the moment, I am very freaked out about my money situation.
I guess I should give you a little background first. I got my first credit card when I was a sophomore in high school and traveling overseas for a school trip. Mistake #1. After I returned from the trip, I started using it regularly. Thankfully, I had a part-time job, and was able to pay it off. But somehow, I got another card in my possession and started shopping A LOT. I mean, a lot. The balance on that card was more money than I had ever held in my hand, or kept in my savings account. I didn’t tell my parents about my inability to pay off my cards but they did find out (like they always do), and my dad helped me out. He was not happy about it. He was not nice about it. He thought he was teaching me a lesson.
I think the right lesson would have been cutting up the cards and showing me how to divide up my paychecks into a savings and checking account. You would think for an honor roll student, I would know to do these things. But I didn’t. Credit card debt does not just happen to stupid people. I am responsible in many aspects of my life, but this was just not one of them.
In college, history repeated itself. I was in a serious relationship with someone who was careless with money, and showed how much he cared by buying me stuff. So in turn, I did the same. I did not have a job freshman year, I totally maxed out my credit card and even “snuck” a “just because” gift to the theatre on my dad’s card (I had the information stored in my Amazon account). Pretty pathetic, right? After we broke up, I started wishing you could create some kind of contract with your partner about dividing up presents and money spent after the relationship fails (and this one really failed).
By the end of college, I was starting to figure it out. I didn’t have to buy everything I laid my eyes on, everything I liked. It was okay to say NO. My credit cards were not that bad. It helped that instead of a graduation party, my dad gave me a check to make my final payment on my last card. I was free!
Or so I thought.
I started working. I was swayed by the fashionistas of the city. I bought a lot of clothing. For years, I wore t-shirts and jeans and converse sneakers. The world of cardigans, skirts, tights beckoned! And I answered, in a big way. Plus, I have an expensive hobby. One that I fully embraced once I started working full-time. Experiencing the culture of the theatre is expensive (even if you get discounted tickets, which I did). I was going a few times a week (insane, I know) and when you add in a meal after work… that’s one expensive (yet enjoyable) night.
Hello, Credit Card Bill, I missed you.
A little over a year ago, I got serious. I was done being careless with money. Living paycheck to paycheck. I wasn’t only buying clothes and music this whole time. I was also paying my cell phone bill and college loans (above the minimum payment). Then health insurance. It all started to add up, and my savings account was zero.
At the same time, Mr. FF and I started getting serious about moving in together and engagements and weddings and I started to think: I can’t keep living like this. How can I be a real adult when I keep living beyond my means?
So I started paying off large chucks of my bills, opened an IRA, and slowly but surely, my credit cards were down to zero balance. Right in time, to buy a house. I felt so accomplished. I would NEVER do this again.
Never say never.
We were lucky to have a lot of help getting the house fixed up because I know Mr. FF and I would have never been able to afford all the supplies, appliances, and paint on our own. Not to mention the manual labor and time people gave us. We were so thankful.
I’m not sure where it started to go wrong again. It’s amazing how fast everything can add up. Throw in a wedding, and catastrophe strikes. I am living in bill hell. It’s scary this time. I don’t have the luxury of living at home and throwing $600 toward my card whenever I feel like it. It’s going to take more time. Some creativity. Patience that I do not have.
My lack of money skills disappoints me all the time. Not to mention, I am embarrassed. I am a homeowner, soon to be wife. I am feeling a little helpless right now. I don’t know why I love to shop so much or why it makes me feel good. I know I value time with my family, Mr. FF, and friends more than a nice dress with the perfect shoes. But now, because of all the “treating” I did for myself over the years, I have had to make some severe cuts. That includes all the theatre I loved to see, going out to dinner or even for a drink after work.
And that sucks.
But it’s my own fault. When will I finally learn? The day that I have money in a savings account, and I don’t have to sit here doing math in a little notebook every paycheck is one that I look forward to, more than a vacation. More than anything, at this point. If I can’t get this under control, how will I ever be able to support a child? Or even a puppy for that matter? (Babies are a long way off.)
I hope writing this blog is a “step in the right direction” (song that is playing right now, how ironic).
I need to take responsibility. Fully understand my priorities (pay for house, pay for wedding, have money set aside for a rainy day) and just DO IT. If that means very little socializing, very little shopping, whatever… I just have to suck it up. In the end, I will be able to do more without this little problem rearing its ugly head every few months. Because let’s face it: if I lost my job right now, I would be completely fucked.
I am done being a slave to shopping and to my credit cards. I would like to be Funfetti: RESPONSIBLE homeowner, wife, daughter and friend, who finally realizes the true value of a dollar.
