TV Show Time Machine: My So-Called Life
By: Red Velvet
Rayanne: Haven’t you ever waited for anything?
Rickie: Yeah, for my life to start.
I started watching My So-Called Life after it had been cancelled and MTV started playing reruns all the time. I didn’t even see the series from the beginning. The first episode I saw was “Self-Esteem” (Episode 12) and by the end of it, my teen self swooned and cheered when Jordan held Angela’s hand in the hallway in front of everyone. (Iconic TV moment if you ask me!) The point is, it didn’t take me long to care about these characters. They were so real and honest and unlike any other depiction of high school at the time. From the moment I watched, it left an impression on me.
Let’s rewind back a bit.
My So-Called Life is a television show (created by Winnie Holzman) that revolved around Angela Chase, a 15 year old girl and her “coming of age”. She’s trying to figure out her own identity and as a result, makes a lot of drastic changes in her life. She pulls away from her parents, Patty (breadwinner of the family and extremely opinionated) and Graham (soft-spoken and less strict). Dyes her hair red (“crimson glow”). Ditches her childhood friends Sharon Cherski (average girl next door type) and Brian Krakow (awkward nerd who’s in love with Angela) in favor of new friends Rayanne Graff (wild & rebellious) and Rickie Vasquez (the gay best friend - I adore him by the way). And of course, I can’t forget to mention Jordan Catalano, the popular slacker guy that Angela falls in love with and briefly dates. As the series progresses, the show becomes just as much about these other characters’ stories as it is about Angela’s.
Angela: Sometimes it seems like we’re all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It’s good to get really dressed up once in a while, and admit the truth — that when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they’re actually…beautiful. Possibly even me.
What appealed to me about the show immediately was Angela (played by Claire Danes). Unlike most female teenagers portrayed on television, Danes was actually the age of the character she played (instead of you know, 21). She didn’t look like a model. Just a normal girl, someone you could imagine knowing or relate to. And I related to her immensely. Who doesn’t clash with their mother, have an all-consuming crush, obsess over a pimple, hate Geometry or struggle with self-esteem? We all do at that age. And I find that most of the time, it isn’t portrayed well or it’s glossed over in favor of focusing on the “love triangle”. Angela went through every basic teenage emotion in a real, often painfully awkward and introspective way. I re-watched the series a couple years ago (when it came out on DVD) and I would cringe sometimes because I remembered feeling and reacting so similarly. I’ve been sucked into a lot of shows and I’ve related to female protagonists before but I never saw myself in them. With Angela, some part of me felt like I could’ve been her.
The realness I saw in her character didn’t stop there. It applied to the whole show and all the themes they dealt with. They covered child abuse, homophobia and homelessness through Rickie’s character. Alcoholism and drug use through Rayanne. Illiteracy and learning disabilities through Jordan. All of them were thinking about or having sex, getting in and out of relationships. All trying to find their way and making mistakes. And these mistakes or themes weren’t wrapped up neatly in a bow by the end of the episode either. I liked how plots played out over time.
Of course, there had to be a love triangle somewhere. And believe me, there has been a lot of debate as to who Angela should’ve ended up with. Jordan Catalano (I even love his name) or Brian Krakow? Jordan was popular, a musician, a little dim at times but he developed a genuine interest in Angela, who had been infatuated with him forever (she likes the way he leans against things, hah!). Even though he wasn’t the right choice for her, I loved them together. One of my favorite scenes is when he talks about Angela (to her mother, no less): “It’s like you think you are safe or something cause you can just walk away anytime, cause you don’t need her - you don’t need anyone. But the thing you didn’t realize is, you’re wrong.” But.. he also slept with her best friend, so he’s definitely not perfect. Then there was Brian and his unrequited feelings for Angela. It was obvious to everyone but her and he did a horrible job of showing her how he felt. But he was always there for her. Granted in a kind of mean and self-righteous way, but he was just a little emotionally stunted (what guy isn’t?). But in the end, he wanted her to be happy. As evidenced by him writing a love letter for Jordan to help him get her back. (Which worked!)
Because the show was cancelled, it ends on a cliffhanger. Angela is standing between both guys, knowing full well how they both feel, and gets into the car with Jordan. But not before sharing a long look (of possibility) with Brian. The last scene is frustrating and perfect at the same time. Frustrating because this amazing show was clearly cancelled too soon and unfairly. But perfect because what happens next is left to your imagination. Would I really have wanted to see Angela get older, break up with Jordan, date Brian and eventually marry someone else?
Probably not.
I want to remember her as the awkward young girl figuring out her life and holding Jordan Catalano’s hand down the hallway while Buffalo Tom plays in the background. And with that, I leave you a clip of the aforementioned scene. If you’ve never watched My So-Called Life - please do! You won’t regret it! (Though I did give away a lot in my entry, it’s still worth seeing for yourself!)
Enjoy!
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And in case you were curious, here’s a brief “Where Are They Now?”:
Claire Danes (Angela) - Last seen in “Me and Orson Wells” with Zac Efron.
Jared Leto (Jordan) - Currently focusing on his band, 30 Seconds to Mars.
A.J. Langer (Rayanne) - Did recurring roles on various TV shows but nothing for the last few years.
Wilson Cruz (Rickie) - Still doing television and movies. Even played “Angel” in Rent at one point.
Devon Odessa (Sharon) - Hardly in any shows or movies these days.
Devon Gummersall (Brian) - Lots of recurring roles on shows like The Gates, Drop Dead Diva, Private Practice, Castle, CSI. Also, did you know he was married to Majandra Delfino (Maria from Roswell)?
