Connection Overload
By: Funfetti
My co-worker said something so interesting last week that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
Sometimes I wish that Facebook or anything like it didn’t exist.
She’s totally right. At her age, Facebook had already infiltrated her high school experience. I can only imagine how freaking dramatic that was. We didn’t have anything like that at all… texting was kind of “the thing” and that was all dramatic enough for me. I still remember when Facebook was new and my college wasn’t even on it. Oh, those were the days.
Is it strange how we refer to the time before all this “connection” as simpler times?
Just like everything else in the world, Facebook and all of its friends can have a greater purpose in our lives. Reconnect estranged family members, find lost children, even the powers of Twitter and blogging helped Layla raise money for her surgery, and is now doing the same for thrifty wedding blogger, Dana of The Broke-Ass Bride. The support and the friendships made throughout the world are pretty spectacular. (Remember how cool it was to have a pen pal when you were younger? Now you literally can have a thousand e-pals if you choose to.)
On the other hand, it’s the other extreme that I just can’t stand. People sometimes assume that being on social media party lines means that we care about each and every move you make. Generate sympathy and praise in the wrong way. It’s like you need a whole new team of acceptance. And I just don’t get it. I mean, I understand wanting support and being able to express your opinions… but some people take it a step too far. Talking in major detail about an upcoming divorce and how much of a shmuck your ex is. Or one of my personal favorites, making up some shit just to make your ex’s new girlfriend totally suspicious of every single one of his moves (hi freshman year in college!). Again, there are always those people who take something good and warp it to benefit themselves.
I guess you have to watch out for the traps. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the social madness by constantly updating your status, location, and uploading a new picture of you taking a shot every weekend. “Life” becomes a little bit too much about you, and not everyone else. I mean, I’m the first one to admit that I am constantly checking Facebook and Twitter, always thinking I should just delete my Facebook profile because it distracts me so much and I care too much about people I never see. In fact, the ones I love and see the most are the ones who update their statuses less frequently. Isn’t that ironic? People don’t have the same urge to call people and even email to see what others are up to anymore because it’s so easily accessible. And then we become lazy all over again. Why go to the library when there is Google? Why walk to the Gap down the street when you can shop online?
While all of this technology is super convenient and amazing, there are still these downfalls that totally frustrate me!
Even blogging has the same effect. In the past I have gotten so wrapped up in writing that I have forgotten how much fun it is to spend a night on the couch just hanging out with Mr. FF. Or I’ve conformed who I am and how I think and express myself because I so much wanted to be like other people, who were deemed “successful” because of their following.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Red Velvet and I started this blog because we wanted to be able to express ourselves without apology, without barriers. Because we are anonymous, we are more honest than we would be using other outlets. It’s not because we feel we are superior in any way, or feel we know better than anyone else. Being open about us and our experiences is a way to connect with people. To find support, just by hearing that someone relates or by seeing the other side, when someone doesn’t agree.
There are many reasons to be grateful for how communication has changed over time, just in the few years since we graduated college or when we were passing notes in high school. But it’s important to remember there is a real world outside your window too. Life is happening while you are sitting at your computer, clicking through a photo album and stalking some people you knew in another life.
As a huge believer in connecting, belonging, and expressing, I know I am constantly going to be torn about my life on & off-line. How much to say, and what’s deemed too sacred to share with the rest of the world. I also realize that one day - whether it be a week or ten years from now when I’m a mom, perhaps - these days will be seen as the “simple” ones.
That’s sort of a scary thought, isn’t it?
