Summer Lovin’: Summer Reflection
Butterbeer is a web-designer turned nurse to be. She has been designing websites since high school, graduated as a computer science major but decided to pursue her childhood dream of working in the medical field. She has not given up on web design because hey, why can’t she do both? Her loves: family, fiance, friends, laughing, art, music, and books. Keep her away from ladders because she does not fair well near them (but that’s for another story).
I remember one summer, three years ago, I had just come back from a business trip and decided that I needed a change. A few months before, I was working long hours for a boss from hell and coming home each day hating myself. I was too scared to speak then because I was constantly on the brink of tears and I knew one word out of my mouth would open the flood gates. On my way out of work one day, I said goodbye to my coworker when she looked at me, face framed in worry, and said, “C, you need to quit. I can tell you’re really stressed and unhappy. Is this really the career you want?”
I had been thinking about quitting for the longest time but was too scared to make the move. I had no other job lined up, I had bills to pay, and there was always this hope that things would get better at work. But I knew that was far from reality. That night, with my coworker’s voice still ringing in my ears, I sat my parents down to talk. I was already in tears but in a matter-of-fact voice I said, “I’m going to quit and find something new.” My parents, being so supportive, did not even argue or discourage me. They knew it was time for me to leave. The next week I went on my business trip, everything went well and the conference was a success. The day before my flight home, my boss sat me down and asked that I work on this project full-time. For a split second I thought, “Is this my big break at work?” But I knew what I had to do and I respectfully declined.
The days, months, and years after that conversation were all a blur. I ended up working part-time for the same organization but with the perks of working from home, negotiating my own time and pay. But the major advantage — no boss from hell! I did that for a few months but still I wanted more. That was when I decided to revisit my childhood dream of becoming a doctor.
For the longest time I wanted to be a doctor but somewhere along sophomore year of high school and college applications, I decided on computer science. But I could never shake the thought of medicine out of my mind. One afternoon I spoke to my dad about it and he totally shot the idea down. I remember him saying (and I remember the protests I made in my mind), “Becoming a doctor is a big commitment (I can be committed! I’m in a 12-year relationship!), takes a lot of time (Dude, I’m 25. I got lots of time!), and money (Okay, you got me there…)”. The stake to the heart was when he said, “Think about how old you are going to be by the time you graduate? Don’t you want a family?”
Don’t get me wrong, I did want a family but in my 25-year-old mind, that was not my prime priority. I thought I was capable of doing it all and the issue of time never crossed my mind but I knew my dad was just being realistic. Though that conversation was a bit depressing and discouraging, it did wake me up. I had to find a career that first of all, I loved, provided me with a stable future, wouldn’t put me in a massive debt and could be achieved in a realistic time frame. Easier said than done, right? Right…
It took me almost a year to figure it out and if you asked me 10 years ago if I wanted to become a nurse, one look at my face would immediately tell you the answer was no. I had nothing against a nursing career — I grew up in a family full of amazing nurses but for the longest time, I never saw it as a career but more of as a job. But, three years later, I am on my way to becoming an RN.
So what changed my mind? Several things actually. The main ones being the great stories my aunts would tell me, the anatomy & physiology class I took (I love, love, love physiology), and the many amazing things you can do with nursing that I never knew about until a few years ago such as, becoming a Nurse Practitioner (sick note, anyone?) or putting my computer background to use by contributing to new medical technologies. The possibilities are endless. Come this November, the 3rd to be exact, I will be graduating from my program and, I hope, on my way to saving and changing people’s lives.
I went through a lot of changes, hardships, insecurities, and difficulties these past three years but looking back, quitting was the best decision of my life. I had a conversation with my now fiance a few nights ago about where our lives would be if we hadn’t made the decisions we made then (he also took a leap of faith, quit his job and is now working for a company he loves) and to tell you the truth, I don’t really know. What I do know is that for the first time in the longest time, I feel that I am headed in the right direction and although I embarked on this journey for myself, I wouldn’t have made it through this far without the support and help from God, my family, fiance, and best friends.
This picture is framed and hanging in my room. It was given to me by my wonderful coworkers.
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Summer Reflection is part of our Summer Series.
