Couple of Crumbs

Funfetti: WEverb11 Prompts #8-18

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:24:00 -0500

AH! Can you believe I just wrote all of these, had only 3 to go, and they DISAPPEARED? I have no idea what just happened. So because of that, and how my heart is beating right now because I want to strangle someone, I am going to start from 18 and end with 8. It’s like Sesame Street but not. :) Enjoy!

#18. Teach

What lesson or advice were you able to pass on to others this year? Why was it important to share this information? (Or… what lesson would you like to pass on to others that read this?)

I think it would have to be communication. It can make or break a friendship, a relationship, a partnership or anything. Even if it’s ugly, even if it’s hurtful, it’s important to be honest and open with people in your life. In the end, everyone will feel better.

#17. Discover

What did you discover (big or small) in 2011?

If anything, I discovered after all is said and done, I just want to be a writer. Like I have since I was a young kid. That doesn’t sound like a huge deal. It actually might sound silly to some people. But this year, my passion has been reignited even more and I’m ready to do something about it. And I guess I have been in small ways but now I’m admitting it to myself. That’s huge for me.

#16. Persevere

Describe something that disappointed you in 2011 and how you persevered.

There are some adults in our lives that have been generally disappointing. I think my husband and I have done as good of a job as we could staying strong and true to our convictions and just moving forward, with or without their support. We’ve been honest and said how we felt when they haven’t been the easiest things to say. We’ve made an effort to fix things and move forward and be happy. In general, since we first moved in together, Mr. FF and I have gotten better at making decisions and not letting the thoughts and ideas of others sway what we do or how we feel about them. It’s unfortunate not to have the support of people who love us but we know that we can move on and continue doing what we know is right for us.

#15. Surprise

What event of 2011 affected you in an unexpected way?

There are two very different projects I’ve been honored to be a part of this year and I have been so surprised by the amazing things I’ve gained since starting. I’ve made new (really good) friends, gained some awesome opportunities, and just been able to be a part of some fabulous, awesome communities.

#14. Breathe

How did you make space + peace for yourself in 2011?

I’m probably the worst at relaxing because I always have so much to do. (This happens when you have a long commute 5 days a week.) But I think taking time for myself even if it just meant planting myself in the guest room and watching a lot of my DVRed shows, or going to visit some gal pals. Taking a break for the night and just watching a movie with the hubster or an impromptu dinner out. Not to mention, the gym. THE GYM. For real. I feel my best after a work out.

#13. Read

What article or book changed your outlook on an issue or life?

I have no idea how I heard about this book but I took it out and was VERY surprised by my strong reaction to it. Donald Millers’ A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It’s about this writer who is trying to figure out his life by talking about the decisions of others and certain moves he makes. It was really effective and hopeful. Here’s one of my favorite quotes. It’s a little depressing but it really hit home with me:

“I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their spouses, and they go looking for an easier story.”

#12. Thrive

What was your healthiest habit of 2011? What would you like to change or do differently in 2012?

We certainly read a lot of Nutrition labels this year, and stopped having soda in our house. (We only have ginger ale and soda for parties now.) I’ve totally cut High Fructose Corn Syrup from my diet, which has been great. I just wish we had more time to go to the gym.

For my mind, I’ve been indulging in a lot of hobbies during my free time and after feeling brainless at work each day, it’s really improved my peace of mind and made me feel good.

In 2012, I hope I can find a balance between all the things I want to do and also be able to make a more consistant gym schedule. I want to take spinning classes or maybe take up running when I don’t want to go to the gym. I would love for us to continue to have better eating habits at home. (I also would like to lose 10 more pounds by my birthday, and then another 5 by June. That would be my happy weight.) Here’s to all of that happening!

#11. Try

What 12 new things do you want to do/accomplish in 2012?

Balance my time better.
Cut myself off from all electronics one in awhile.
Make more time for worthwhile friends, and reaching out to new ones.
Taking some time to volunteer.
Paying off credit cards. Not all of them, just a majority. Save some money and stop thinking I don’t have enough clothes in my closet.
Stress less, laugh more.
Starting something new in my workout routine.
Finally finish reading “Little Women” and indulging in a few more classics.
FOCUS. Stop feeling impatient, anxious, or feeling like I have to do 928349 things at once.
Be the most supportive wife I can be.
Start writing a novel.
Work on the small details of our home. (Light switch covers, more pictures, switching around 2 of the rooms… lots to do!)

#10. Create

Share a creative project you undertook this year (art, writing, DIY, cooking, home decoration, crafts, photography … whatever comes to mind). How do you use your creativity to express yourself?

Ah this question is so hard when it comes to RV & I staying anonymous. I would have to say one of my favorite projects this year was painting a wall in my living room. I realize I sound very Pacey & Joey when I saw that. (Do you remember when Pacey bought her a wall for no reason at all? Swoon!)

Here’s a picture to refresh your memory. Anyway, Mr. FF hated the idea of me painting the wall but you know what? In 2 years we still have not hung up any pictures in here, I’m not sure if more furniture would make it look better or just crowded so I thought the wall painting would make the room look “full”. I came up with the idea, and my sister and her best friend executed it when they came to visit. (Don’t worry, we bought them dinner!) It looks fabulous and even Mr. FF can’t argue with me. He likes it! He really likes it, and we’ve gotten a lot of compliments. Now I want to hang up a collage of frames over it but one thing at a time, I guess. :)

There are many ways to express creativity and without it I would be the most miserable person in the world. I’m happy to say I am able to destress by making cards, painting walls, brainstorming new projects, and writing.

#9. Appreciate

In which moment did you find yourself flooded with gratitude? How will you rally around gratitude in 2012?

I can’t stop talking about our wedding. But I can’t help it. It was the biggest thing to happen this year and sort of showcased my favorite moments I’ve had in a long time.

While I always feel grateful for my friends who were also in my bridal party, it was the morning of when we were sipping mimosas, listening to crazy Funfetti favorites on iTunes, waiting for our makeup and hair to be done — it was one of the best parts of wedding planning and the wedding day itself. We were laughing, have a great time, and it felt so thankful at that very moment to have these girls share my day with me like this.

I hate to be realistic but someday we may lose touch. Even if we can never imagine it now. We don’t know what will happen. But when I look back at those pictures and remember that morning, I know I made the very best decision when it came to my bridal party. Throughout the whole process, they were amazing even when I was changing my mind constantly, sending out a million emails, starting craft projects I didn’t understand fully… They were great sports and I’ll be forever thankful to them for being so supportive and calming during the whole crazy thing.

In fact, I wish I could go back and do that morning one more time. Mimosas, anyone?

#8. Choice

What was the biggest choice you made in 2011? What caused you to choose what you chose?

Getting married. I know a lot of people wouldn’t say this. I mean, I have never had any doubts about getting married to Mr. FF at all. If anything it was just logistics. Is this the right time? Are we rushing things? (We dated for a long time, and we had a long engagement so I’m not sure why this one kept popping up in my mind.)

Deciding this is the person you want to spend your life with is sort of a decision you make over a span of time. Do we have fun together? Do I like who I am with him? Do we have the same dreams for the future? And if we don’t, are we both willing to bend and compromise to make them happen for one another? Are you truly happy? Do you feel supported? Is our marriage sustainable for the rest of our lives? Without knowing what challenges we will face, who we will meet, where we will go, what jobs we may have… it’s really a lot to think about. I think too many people our age go into it blindly. Without thinking. They think EVERYONE else is getting married around them and it’s just the thing to do after you’ve been together for a long time. It’s the next step. I guess when I was young I never thought about people getting married who weren’t the “right” couple and yet I’ve met quite a few and it frightens me to no end. I know you can never know what goes on in a relationship and it’s between two people but still… there is that dreaded feeling you get sometimes.

Now I’m going off on a tangent. But I think everyone knows at least one couple like this, and we only hope they can grow together and make things work. Marriage is not a temporary thing, and when I have a bad day or even a good one and Mr. FF says something sweet, does something wonderful for me at home, I know I am the luckiest. He supports me, he encourages me, he cares about what is important to me even if he doesn’t get it, he never makes me feel like I can’t do anything or see anyone, he loves when I act silly, and he is probably one of the only people I can be my true self around. He’s not afraid to hold my hand in public or hug me really tight, or sing outloud when the mood strikes him, or dance a silly little dance to make me smile. He cares about my friends, cares about knowing my friends, cares about my sister like she is his own, and gets along so well with my family. He works hard at his job, only wants to do better, and cares about the people he works with and works for. I am so proud to be his wife, and I know, even though some days it will mean hard work, I’ve made the right decision for me.

(In lighter decisions, WHY DID I CUT MY BANGS THIS TIME? I’m just not feeling it and can’t wait until they grow out.)

Red Velvet #13: Read

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:57:25 -0500

Read.

What article or book changed your outlook on an issue or life?

I just finished reading “Falling for Me: How I Hung Curtains, Learned to Cook, Traveled to Seville, and Fell in Love” by Anna David and while it might not have changed my life, it certainly made feel like I’m not alone. Here’s this intelligent, attractive, successful woman in her 30s who thought that she’d have a husband and kids by now but she doesn’t. She’s hit a point in her life where she’s wondering if the choices she’s made were the right ones, why does she fall for the wrong guys and what can she do to change her situation? I wonder this myself but she actually does something about it. She gets inspired by this book called “Sex and the Single Girl” by Helen Gurley Brown, which was written in the 60s, but she decides to try the author’s suggestions and apply them to current times. What ensues are stories (a lot of which made me laugh) about online and speed dating, good/bad guys, learning how to really cook for the first time, taking a French class, a ceramics class, organizing events, impulsive trips and more. She really takes matters into her own hands and it’s inspiring.

With so many people around me getting engaged, it’s easy to feel like I’m somehow getting left behind or not maturing as fast. Especially when I haven’t even been on a date in forever. It’s so easy to forget that there are other women in this same situation and that you just have to take chances, make the best of it and be grateful for the things you DO have. This book was a great reminder of that.

Red Velvet #9-12 #WEverb11

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:51:01 -0500

#9: Appreciate

In which moment did you find yourself flooded with gratitude? How will you rally around gratitude in 2012?

I don’t think there’s one big moment that I could choose for this one. Despite the times when I complain, I’m honestly so grateful and appreciative of a lot of things in my life. I may not always show it, but I feel it.

Like, every time I’m out with one of my friends I can’t help but feel grateful for their friendship. As I get older, I realize more and more that connecting with someone isn’t an every day occurrence. It’s rare to find someone you can truly be yourself with and confide in and I try not to ever lose sight of that. Or when I’m at family get-togethers. Even though my relatives can be crazy and slightly overbearing, would I really want it any other way? Probably not. I love that we all live so close each other. I appreciate that I had the opportunity to travel this year, connect with people through writing, read more, survive everything at work. The list goes on.

While it’s important to appreciate those big moments, I think it’s equally important to appreciate the little ones too and everything in between.

#10: Create

Share a creative project you undertook this year (art, writing, DIY, cooking, home decoration, crafts, photography … whatever comes to mind). How do you use your creativity to express yourself?

On my personal blog, I participated in a photo challenge recently that was run by Positively Present (one of my favorite sites!). It lasted the entire month of November and the focus was on gratitude, which really appealed to me. Taking photos every day based on the daily topics (favorite food, memories, happiness, books, etc) forced me to think, be creative and focus on the things around me. I really enjoyed it and even kind of miss it now. Plus it gave me a chance to try something new and connect with other bloggers online.

Even if you’re not into photography but just love taking pictures on your phone (I adore the Instagram app on my iPhone!), I’d definitely recommend trying it!

(My photo for Day 28: Nighttime)

#11: Try

What 12 new things do you want to do/accomplish in 2012?

1. Find a new job
2. Move out
3. Do at least one thing (I don’t know what) that’s outside my comfort zone.
4. Travel somewhere new. (More travel and roadtrips in general.)
5. Go to the beach this summer (simple I know but every year I say I want to go to the beach and it never happens.)
6. Read 100 books (Funfetti inspired this one!)
7. Meet someone / go out on a date.
8. Save more money (like come up with a plan/budget and stick with it).
9. Go to more concerts.
10. Travel somewhere by myself (I think about going to California to see my cousin all the time, but my fear of planes always stops me).
11. Take a class - yoga, zumba, maybe beginner’s ballet for adults. Something!
12. Every year, I tell myself that I should learn a new web programming language to stay on top of things professionally. But I never do and I really should.

#12: Thrive

What was your healthiest habit of 2011? What would you like to change or do differently in 2012?

This seems kind of silly but my healthiest habit is probably cutting back on soda. I’ve always lived off of soda (Code Red Mountain Dew, to be exact) and would drink a couple bottles per day in college. Now I only have soda once a week at most which is HUGE for me. Instead I stick to raspberry iced tea, water, ginger ale (I don’t think it’s really soda) and of course, coffee. It’s such a seemingly small change but health-wise, I think it does make a difference.

I think next year, I’d like to be more active. Join a class at the gym with a friend (I always mention yoga or zumba) or go on walks more often. During the summer on my days off, my cousin and I would go on this trail near where we live and walk for about 3 miles. I’d always feel so good afterward and it’s the kind of thing I need to do more next year.

Red Velvet #8: Choose

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 01:05:27 -0500

Choose.

What was the biggest choice you made in 2011? What caused you to choose what you chose?

I don’t know if there’s one BIG choice I made this year (unless you count treating myself to a much needed vacation). If anything, I tried to look at my daily choices more. I wanted to make choices that would make me feel less stressed or give me opportunities to do things I love. I mean, ultimately I just want to be happy. It’s such a simple thing but I honestly do think it’s a choice you make for yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I would tell myself at work - don’t sweat the little things. I didn’t always follow that advice (which Funfetti can attest to!) but on the days when I did, it felt really good and I’m getting better at doing that. No one wants to be sitting at their desk internally raging at their coworkers. (I swear, I don’t.) Or the decision to read more. Again a simple choice and yet it’s one that’s made me very happy. I’ve always been a bookworm and for whatever reason, I went through this period post-college where I hardly read at all. I missed it! Now I’m reading all the time, escaping into these wonderful stories. Books just make me happier. Same goes for blogging. I love to write but it’s always been stop and go for me. Then for the past year and a half, I’ve made the conscious effort to keep at it and it’s been so rewarding.

It’s kind of like that saying - how sometimes it’s the little things that matter most. Maybe I didn’t make one life-altering decision. Instead I made a lot of little choices that made this past year a happier one as a whole. And that’s probably something I’m going to try and keep at next year (and that year after that!).

Funfetti #7: Travel

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 23:30:05 -0500

Where did you travel this year? What was your favorite part? If you didn’t get to travel, where do you want to go next year? #weverb11

While I sometimes daydream about just buying a plane ticket on a whim and heading to a tropical paradise (usually on a crazy day at work), I’ve never actually acted on it. For some reason, it just never occurred to me to pull the trigger. Though, I did come sort of close to that this year. When I realized two of my best friends would be in the same state at the same time and all I had to do was just get there, I sent an email about us meeting somewhere in the Keys. (I had never been.) They loved the idea, and I bought some plane tickets.

Blue skies. Palm trees. Fruity drinks. I was in the middle of one of my favorite country songs, for sure. My one friend and I road-tripped to meet the other, found our hotel, and settled on the beach behind our hotel. I think we probably talked for twelve hours straight (maybe more), stopping to sip our beer, take a few pictures, and take showers later on. The water was amazing, we sat in beach chairs, and just enjoyed spending some uninterrupted time with one another. We’ve been friends since our first semester at college, and sometimes I’m just blown away by how different we are and that we’ve lasted this long, especially since we are never in the same place at the same time. (Come to think of it, even when we lived on the same campus, we had trouble getting together. I remember the post-it notes: “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you all week!”)

Later, we sat and watched the sun set. (We’re romantic like that.) Ate s’mores and got pretty for dinner. After a delicious meal, we sat in beautiful hotel room (glad we splurged!) and just talked. More. I love how we always have so much to say, and how right before we go to sleep we all said outloud how happy we were to be doing something like this together. I’m not really use to that kind of outward affection when it comes to being home with my friends. But it was so true. And it felt good to hear it. I sort of live for these adventures, and these two girls always make me feel like I can do anything.

The next morning, before we left for our trip to airport, we decided to jump in the water one more time. There was no one in the bay, the water felt so good (I love to swim), and the sun was already hot on our backs. It was only a few minutes… I didn’t want to leave. It was so gorgeous.

I know some thought I was nuts to just go away for less than 2 days. Sure, I was exhausted when I got back but it really was one of my highlights of my year.

I can’t wait until we can meet up in another fun place. (But after I replenish my wallet like a good girl…)

Red Velvet #7: Travel #WEverb11

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 22:07:00 -0500

Travel.

Where did you travel this year? What was your favorite part? If you didn’t get to travel, where do you want to go next year?

I went to London and Paris with one of my best friends this year. It was my first time out of the country and one of the most memorable experiences of my life. It’s funny, not only do I remember everything about the trip itself but I also remember all the moments leading up to it.

Last Christmas, I had spent some time with a cousin on my dad’s side of the family that I rarely see. We get along great but he lives all the way in Australia so I probably see him every 4 years or so. He had just gotten back from a trip to Iceland and was telling me all about his travels and the people he met. Then I told him how I’d never been out of the country. What followed was a look of horror on his face and him saying, “Tell me you’ve at least been to Canada.” (I have.) I couldn’t get stop thinking about it and less than a week later, I was IMing Giggles and telling her we needed to travel ASAP. Enough with the waiting, let’s just do it. And we did.

It was amazing, to say the least. I loved everything about London and Paris (minus the occasional grumpy Parisian). I’ve already talked in length about my vacation but if I had to name a few things that stood out to me it would probably be: the Eiffel Tower, warm fluffy croissants, “the Tube”, double decker buses, Covent Garden, the Louvre, Notre Dame and spending a night out dancing (can’t remember the last time I did that!).

But more than anything, I’m just happy to have done something different this year. I feel like it’s the start of many more travels to come!

Red Velvet #6: Favor #WEverb11

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 15:25:54 -0500

Favor.

What was your favorite month of 2011? Why did it beat out all 11 other months?

Would it be strange to choose December, even though the month just started? It’s the month I look forward to every year. Aside from the obvious (Christmas!), there are all these other traditions in my life that I get excited about…

Every year one of my college roommates throws a party filled with good food (her dad’s chicken salad is amazing) and singing Christmas carols around the piano in her living room. She started inviting us our senior year of college (I think) and we’ve been going ever since.

My best friends and I have our own holiday dinner where we pick a fancy restaurant, get all dolled up and exchange presents. Then inevitably, we go to someone’s house afterwards and talk for hours. We’ve all been so busy this year.. so it makes the times when we can all get together extra special.

My cousins and I decided to do a Secret Santa gift exchange this year. Partially to save money (just being honest!) but I actually think it’s a lot of fun. My person is someone I tend to get gift cards and sweaters for but this time, I put some extra thought into it and I’m really excited to see the expression on his face when he opens his gift.

And course, the vacation days. I always take the last week and a half of December off. I’ve already got trips into the city planned, might go see a musical and other Christmas parties to go to. It’s nice to actually have time for myself and not have to think about work (or commuting).

The festivities officially begin this weekend.. and I can’t wait!

Funfetti #6: Favor #WEverb11

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 15:22:00 -0500

Favor.

What was your favorite month of 2011? Why did it beat out all 11 other months?

I feel like I’m cheating with this one. It’s just too easy. I would have to say the month that I married my fabulous, kind, patient, generous, laidback, funny husband. After over a year of planning and just wanting the big day to show up already, we were able to finally call each other husband and wife.

We still can’t believe it.

I am a total perfectionist, and we both worked really hard to have a wedding that showcased who we are as a couple. After some craft fiascoes, minor drama, and a venue coordinator that I don’t think liked us very much, our wedding day was one of the best days we can remember and just the start of something even better. It was a day we spent completely surrounded by friends and family and I don’t remember feeling so happy in a long time. I managed to sleep a full eight hours the night before, I didn’t panic while we were getting ready, not even on the way to the venue. I remember how nervous I was before seeing my groom. I had kept my dress a secret, and while taking my favorite “first look” shots, we didn’t do much but lean in and touch foreheads. It didn’t make much of a photo but it was a calm, perfect moment for us.

Dancing with my parents, dancing with my friends (or trying to anyway), doing shots with old friends and my cousins. I could have done without my dad drinking too much at the end and maybe my father-in-law deciding he should give private tours of our suite (not kidding about that one). But all my friends in one place? It felt like prom all over again (and for the record, I loved prom).

To make things even better, we jetted off for a magical 2-week honeymoon. No work, no laptops, no distractions. Just him, me, the sun, and a lot of beer.

If I could suggest anything to anyone when it comes to wedding planning, go on a honeymoon right after your wedding. Don’t wait. Budget it out. You will NEED to get away. My brain was just about drowning and I’m not sure I was speaking English the day after it was all over. Jumping on a plane and getting away was just what we needed, after staying up and crying over who knows what and forgetting to eat because there is so much to do. While I wouldn’t want to relive a lot of the planning, I wish I could just do the wedding day one more time, and the honeymoon too, of course.

It’s been an amazing year, and I just feel so incredibly blessed in so many ways. (And I do not say the word “blessed” ever so this should tell you something.)

Red Velvet #5: Befriend #WEverb11

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:12:58 -0500

Befriend.

Did you meet any new friends this year? How did they impact your 2011?

I didn’t befriend anyone new this year but I did reconnect with an old friend that I hadn’t talked to in about five years. Meeting up with her felt familiar (we have this way of being able to pick up where we left off) but at the same time very new because there was so much to catch up on.

She called me out of the blue a couple months ago asking if I was going to a reunion our old high school classmates were trying to plan. I said no and instead we made plans to get dinner in the city after work. I expected dinner to be slightly awkward (but it wasn’t) and mostly about what we’d been up to these last few years. The last thing I expected it to be was eye-opening. But it was.

Our conversation that entire night really made me think.

She asked me about dating and what was I doing to put myself out there. Like, do I go to happy hours or did I have any interests that could be a group activity to meet new people. (My answers: No and I’m not sure). She was very direct with her questions and comments. When I told her that I was still kind of hoping to meet someone through a friend, she told me straight out — “What are the chances of a friend knowing a guy that would be perfect for you?” In my experience, slim to none. I just never really thought about the other options she mentioned and it made me want to make some changes. Just in general, she kept asking me what I was waiting for and that I shouldn’t waste time being unhappy about certain aspects in my life. From there, I started seriously thinking about my portfolio again, about moving out and how I might want to approach dating.

While a lot of my friends have talked to me about the same things, I felt like she provided a new perspective by not having been a part of my life for so long. Ever since then, we’ve been keeping in touch through email and phone and I really hope we continue to hang out. But if we don’t, I’ll definitely remember the impact our dinner had on me when I look back on 2011.

Funfetti #5: Befriend #WEverb11

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:10:00 -0500

Befriend.

Did you meet any new friends this year? How did they impact your 2011?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized just how hard it is to make friends. It’s almost as hard as dating. One of you may have more expectations, the other may push a little bit more, life gets in the way, etc. It all takes patience really, and the right person. Since my husband and I moved to our house, a state away from all my friends and the people we were most social with (my husband is more of a loner), we haven’t had much luck in the friend department. It’s kind of sad actually. It’s a pain in the ass to come visit us, we are the ones who always have to plan the parties or invite people over (we also did this when we lived at our parents’) and after awhile, it didn’t seem like much of it was reciprocated.

While it’s not as taboo now, I do find that it’s easy to meet people online. In fact, I did meet two online Twitter buddies this year and it’s been excellent. Really. I always wish they were closer or there was more time to hang out because sometimes I just feel like they get me.

In another strange twist of fate, I was lucky enough to maintain contact with two people I’ve met in person once. One, many states away, at a friend’s wedding. And another after we connected online, met at an event, and just kept on chatting. I don’t think I could get through the day without the two of these people, and I am so thankful for both of their friendships. We have so much in common, challenge each other, work well together, and just care about each other. (I really hope we’ll be able to meet up again in person soon!)

The other story is a bit odd as well. My husband met one of his (now) best friends when he was going to a certain food counter service every Friday for lunch. This guy was a manager, and they just hit it off. We ended up inviting the manager and his wife-to-be to our wedding, where I met them both for the first time. And almost 10 months later, it feels like we have known them forever. Since my husband and I have only lived together in a house far away from everyone else, we’ve never had the chance to be friends with people who are so laidback and will call us on a Wednesday to have dinner on the same night. It’s a crazy notion to us, and we always joke that this couple must be out to get us because no one is this nice. It’s also one of the reasons why the possibility of leaving the state is even sadder. We don’t want to leave them. We don’t want to not be able to hang out, and only see each other once awhile. But I guess we’ll see what happens with that…

You know, I’ve been very lucky my whole life. My best friends are people I’ve known since I was a little kid, and after that, two girls I’ve known since college. I’m good at making friends and if I do say so myself, I’m good at keeping them. I was out with one of my coworkers this weekend and she said something to me about a person who was a “networker”… she helped other people meet others. I can’t help but feel like that sometimes, and wish I had more opportunities where I live to be that person. I also just wish new people would sort of let their guard down and be open to new people. It’s a horrible thing to feel lonely, and I feel like a lot of our time in our home has been about dealing with that.

I just wish people were aware of how they treated others, and how just like anything else, friendships take work and time and a certain level of commitment.

On the other hand, I’ve seen this year that with some patience, people will come through when you least expect it. I really hope the ones I’ve been able to get to know recently become lifers. That wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.

Red Velvet #4: Haiku #WEverb11

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:34:02 -0500

Write a haiku.

Sum up your year, via haiku.

A woman with dreams
Europe, books and finding love
Some wishes came true

Funfetti #4: Haiku #WEverb11

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 12:05:05 -0500

Sum up your year, via haiku. (http://www.poetrydances.com/haiku.php)

Happy newlywed
Surrounded by books and words
Adventure awaits

Red Velvet #3: Learn

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 22:41:00 -0500

Learn

What lesson did you learn in 2011 from “The School of Life” rather than a classroom?

I think I learn this lesson in some way, shape or form every year but.. I’ve learned that things don’t always happen the way you imagine or hope they will and that isn’t always a bad thing. I’m 28 years old and the fact that I’m getting closer and closer to 30 will occasionally throw me into a panic. I thought that by this time I would’ve had a different job, met the person I’d marry one day and moved out of my house. But I haven’t done any of those things yet. And sometimes when I hear about other former classmates, I find myself comparing (but then I tell myself to stop) and wonder why I’m not at that point in my life yet.

But you know what? I kept (and keep) reminding myself of the things I have accomplished and all the blessings my life. And I do have a lot to be proud of and happy about. Plus, to be honest, there aren’t many choices in my life that I would undo. So maybe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Everyone has their own path to follow and hopefully I’m on the right one for me.

I’m probably going to keep learning this lesson because who doesn’t want things to go exactly their way all the time. But I’m trying my best to appreciate what I have and accept what I can’t change.

Funfetti #3: Learn #WEverb11

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 12:02:06 -0500

What lesson did you learn in 2011 from “The School of Life” rather than a classroom?

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it), I think my lesson of the year is one that will keep on giving in 2012. Accepting that you can’t change people or what they think about you, no matter how hard you try. At some point, you have to choose to just live your own life the best way you know how and sort of ignore the murmurings of those around you, even if their outrageous (or passive) actions are confusing and frustrating.

I’m one of those people who hates to leave things unresolved. I like problems to get fixed for people to be open and honest with how they feel, especially when it affects more than one person. I’m a pretty positive person and sometimes I think that’s what makes this “lesson” so difficult to me. I just don’t understand why problems can’t be talked out and a solution can’t be found.

It’s worked me up, it’s stressed me out, and it has been stress on my new marriage and my baby family. It has made me lose faith in people, and reevaluate who I trust and who I let in. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Having toxic people in your life is not good for anyone. And in the end it’s best to let them go then to continue dealing with a problem you cannot fix (even after you’ve tried countless times).

This sounds like a depressing lesson to learn. And I think what is most depressing is that I have to go back and re-learn it, remember it over and over. (And maybe how some are oblivious to how their words, actions, and non-action, affect others.) But it’s made me appreciate even more the people in my life who are supportive of what I do, how I think, and how I choose to live my life even if it’s not the same way they would choose to live their own. It seems like a small thing but it’s really, really huge. I’ll never forget how I (or we’ve) felt during this year when it comes to these situations, and I think it’s made me hyper-aware of my own reactions presently and in the future when our little family starts to grow.

Funfetti #2: Listen

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:33:00 -0500

Listen.

What song did you listen to in 2011 to completely change your mood? Think about ways you can you add more music to your life in 2012.

My iPod and I are pretty much inseparable when it comes to commuting during the work week. This year though, I’ve discovered the joy of podcasts and don’t listen to quite as much. But it’s still there in the background while I work, when I clean, and even when I shower. While it’s so hard to pick one stand-out song of the year, I can’t help to choose Celebrate You by Corbin Bleu from High School Musical. (He was on Broadway too.) It was the song that our wedding party walked out to at our reception and one that one of my best friends used in her wedding video, and I believe it was also in some of those VISIT WALT DISNEY WORLD commercials that always make me so happy to see.

Plus, it’s a staple in my gym playlists. So while it reminds me of happy times, it also motivates me.

I’m not sure how to integrate more into my life in 2012 but perhaps I’ll be better at reminding myself sometimes it’s refreshing to ditch the podcasts and listen to music on my walk to and from work.

Red Velvet #2: Listen

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:25:00 -0500

Listen.

What song did you listen to in 2011 to completely change your mood? Think about ways you can you add more music to your life in 2012.

I’m constantly listening to music and looking for new bands so the thought of picking one song seemed pretty impossible. But then I decided to go with the first one that popped into my head - “I Got” by Young the Giant. I heard about the band over the summer from a friend, who was sending me various YouTube videos of their songs. But it was when I heard “I Got” (from their In the Open sessions) that I was hooked. Honestly, I’m not even sure I understand what the song is about. But whenever I hear that infectious beat and that guy’s voice singing “I got buried, no it won’t be long before I rise in..” - I can’t help bobbing my head along (and wishing he was singing to me!). Even my five-year-old nephew approves of the song. According to him, it’s cool so hopefully you think so too!

Also, as for ways to add more music to my life.. I need to go to some concerts next year! I haven’t been to one in forever and I miss it. Who knows.. maybe I’ll go see Young the Giant.

Funfetti #1: Choose One Word

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:45:03 -0500

Choose one word.
Choose one word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why. Imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you?

2011: I always thought 2011 would be a year of change for me. I got married in the beginning of the year, planned to find a new job, pay off my credit cards — come out of the year feeling like a new and improved version of myself. While that didn’t all exactly happen according to plan, I think the word of 2011 for me is commitment. I married the absolute love of my life in a ceremony that we pledged to support our wild dreams, and a few months later — because we don’t like to have downtime — I committed to my husband’s biggest dream. One that will cause us to possibly sell the home we’ve lived in for less than three years, move away from our families, and become the breadwinner while my husband goes to back to school to pursue his career goals. It seems over half our year has been about daydreaming, planning with one another, and realizing that we have to take the plunge and do this - commit to a better future for us and our family.

Then there was my writing. I’ve been lucky enough to dive into several new projects with different people, and sort of put myself out there. This year, I’ve realized how passion solidifies our commitments, even if there is no pay or no immediate “fame”. You know what? It’s made me happy, so much happier than I’ve been in forever. Maybe I’ll still be a writer someday like I always wanted to be. I know I just have to keep at it.

2012: The next year is going to be a challenge for me. Figuring out if we will be moving, how we will sell our house, what kind of job I am going to get, and figuring out just how I am going to cut down my shopping habit because I am going to be supporting a household for the first time in my life. It’s a scary place to be, but I think the time has come for me to grow up in other ways and kick this challenge’s ass. If I can do this, I can do anything. Plus succeeding means showing my husband support and ensuring his own success. I can’t even begin to think about moving away from my friends and family because it will be so hard. Honestly, the thing I am most afraid of. Than even my credit card bills. I have been so used to having those I love so close to me, even if I don’t live in the same town as them… being many states away will be quite an adjustment for everyone. But going back to that first word - commitment - we are ready to make a change for our family and I know we are only stronger together.

Red Velvet and I are participating in WEverb11. We think you should too!

Red Velvet #1: Choose one word

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:36:00 -0500

Choose one word.
Choose one word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why. Imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you?

2011 - Try

I think than more any other year, I tried.

I tried to make the year more exciting for myself by telling one of my best friends that we should go to Europe. And we did! I don’t think I’ll ever forget the time I spent in London and Paris. It opened my eyes to a different world and culture. I still think about it all the time and how I want to go back again.

I tried to make the most of work even when I spent a lot of bus rides going home in tears. It’s been a really rough year but I have to admit, there have been good days too. Days where I feel like I do have a friend or two in the office, laugh over silly IMs and go on long coffee breaks. But more than ever, I’m sure of my position as being the best web developer there. And that’s a good feeling to have, even when I’d like nothing more than to slap the person sitting next to me. (I swear, I’m not always violent.)

I tried to be.. I don’t even know what, for my family. I’ve made no secret of describing myself as my family’s personal bank but it’s not always this awful thing. I like taking my nephew back-to-school shopping and I like that I can help my talented younger cousin graduate from college. I guess even though it stresses me out sometimes (a lot of the time), I’m always going to try to do what I can to help.

I tried (and am still trying) to make additional changes in my life to be more content with myself. I have insecurities just like everyone else but I think more than ever, I’ve tried not to let other people’s perceptions of who I am or should be bother me. Because deep down, I do like who I am (even when my not-so-pretty insecurities come out). I’m also finally trying to get a new job because it’s about time I moved on and found something I loved (or at least semi-love).

2012 - Hope

I’m really hopeful about 2012. It’s the end of the year and like I said, I’ve been trying to make some changes in my life. But I’m hoping those changes become a reality next year. New job, maybe move out of my house, meet a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong, I always have these hopes at the end of every year but things feel a little different this time.

For one, instead of just talking about redoing my portfolio and applying to jobs, I’ve actually done it. I’ve put thought into apartments I could possibly move in to. I reconnected with an old friend who might bring new people into my life. I think about these things a lot because I really want them to happen for me. And I’m hoping next year will be the year I get at least some of what I want.

Summer Break

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 10:25:23 -0400

I know, I know… I should have written this ages ago. Now that I’ve actually had to wear tights and a jacket to work I guess it’s really truly over. You know one of the best things about having your own blog is being able to stretch the summer season for another two weeks. (Yay!) Call it denial or you can call it luck. Luck because we had the luxury of having more guest posts for our summer series than weeks of summer. How awesome is that?

We want to take this moment to thank our wonderful, fabulous, talented guest bloggers who took the time to write a little something for our blog. (Fun fact: we had 19 writers joining Funfetti & Red Velvet this summer.) We are so proud that our entries were just as diverse as those who wrote them.

Here’s a little rundown of all the excitement:

Two of our guests (Snackcake & Fight the Future) traveled to Paris & London this summer plus Red Velvet went too!
The Eatinist Bitch concocted a key lime cheesecake in the comforts of her own home, while LatteLove learned a little bit about food during her time in Italy.
Giggles saw Greece. (Are you jealous of all this amazing traveling yet?)
Mila planned a staycation, and Funfetti daydreamed about the places she’d like to visit.
Jessica went to the Outer Banks, Waves of Grain took a road trip, and Pecan Praline locked herself up in school (sort of).
Cinnamon talks about being a teacher on summer vaca. (An awesome profession with built in days off!)
MKWonderland discusses the mysteries of her underwear drawer.
Butterbeer remembers a past summer, while Chocolate Chip talked about big and little moves.
Funfetti lists her favorite summer reads while Red Velvet is on the prowl for a series as memorable as the Hunger Games (she also read her first audio book).
Katie shares a great list of her summer beauty must-haves!
Random Ramblings memorializes the end of Harry Potter era.
Speaking of Harry Potter, Red Velvet and Funfetti review the last movie ever (tear) plus Red Velvet sees The Help.
Red Velvet stands up for herself; S’more gets used to hanging out with a bigger crowd.
The Eatinist Bitch recalls being a little girl in the kitchen while Pumpkin Spice takes a trip down memory lane herself. (Prepare yourself for some beautiful writing.)
Anni shares the hard-hitting fashion lessons she learned from the Baby-Sitter’s Club. (Who didn’t want to look like Claudia?)

We really cannot expect how appreciative we are to all those who contributed to our summer series! Thank you thank you thank you thank you! Thanks also to those of you who have tuned in to read every week!

While this isn’t goodbye, we cupcakes are going to take a little bit of a coffee break around these parts. Things are still pretty busy in real life, and we are looking to revamp COC entirely. We hope you will join us when we officially reopen in a few weeks!

We also want to wish a belated congratulations to our guest cupcake Lemon Drop who just welcomed a baby girl into her family. Congrats to all of you!

To keep up with us as we are creating a fun new COC, please be sure to LIKE us on Facebook & follow our Twitter account!

Talk to you soon!

Summer Lovin': Culture Shocked

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 10:13:00 -0400

By: Red Velvet

Like many, many other people (including our very own guest bloggers), I too vacationed in London and Paris this summer (does September still count as summer?). I could go on and on about how beautiful both cities were, particularly Paris. How the sight of the Eiffel Tower lighting up the night sky took my breath away, how I marveled at the architecture of St. Paul’s Cathedral and Notre Dame, how excited I was to see the Shakespeare and Company book store from my favorite movie, Before Sunset. I mean the list of things to rave about when it comes to Europe is endless. There’s just so much to see and do. No matter how many days you spend there (in my case, it was 10 days with one of my BFFs, Giggles), it never feels like enough. So instead, I’m going to talk about what I experienced during my first trip outside the US - which was a whole lot of culture shock.

I haven’t travelled much but even I know you’re bound to notice differences between your home town and your vacation spot. The weather, people, atmosphere, the prices. Everything! And going to London and Paris was no exception.

London, surprisingly enough, felt a lot like New York. It was trendy and metropolitan but it felt more cultured and artsy, cleaner and people were a lot nicer. We had more than one person gladly offer us help without us asking (whether it was directions or dragging a suitcase up a flight of stairs). We took “the tube” (their subway) every day and I am proud to say that I successfully navigated us around. I really felt at home in London. During one of our day trips to the town of Bath, we were aimlessly walking around while eating our British pasties when I told her - you know, I could see myself living here. I wouldn’t mind taking the tube to work every day and shopping at stores like Harrod’s and Topshop. I just needed to remember little things - that people call buses coaches, chips are french fries and the loo refers to the bathroom. Easy enough! (This is all mindless rambling by the way, I doubt I’d ever make that drastic of a move although I like to daydream about it.)

(At the Roman Baths. And I promise, this is not the spot where I told Giggles that I could see myself living in London.)

Paris, on the other hand, was a whole other beast (and I do mean that nicely). Right off the bat, I fell in love with its beauty. The architecture, the history you see at every corner and of course, the Eiffel Tower. The whole time I was in Paris, I loved being able to see the Eiffel Tower, whether it was during the day or lit up at night. It’s truly a sight to behold. But I had a lot to learn about Parisian culture. For one thing, they don’t like when you speak to them in English (and they really are a bit grumpy). So despite my 8+ years of studying Spanish, I attempted to speak French by learning three important phrases: bon jour (good day), merci (thank you) and parlez-vous anglais (do you speak English). It didn’t get me far but hey, at least I tried!

(My first up-close view of the Eiffel Tower. Imagine getting off a bus and seeing this. So amazing!)

Like London, I successfully navigated us around the city but it wasn’t always easy (since the Paris Metro is kind of a mess). Plus, did you know that if you want to get on or off the subway, you have to open the door yourself? It doesn’t do it automatically! If not for another passenger getting off at our same stop, we probably would’ve just stood there (in panic). They also don’t believe in coffee-to-go. One morning, we must have stopped at 5 different cafes and they all said no (you can imagine my shock and teeny tiny bit of heartbreak). Everywhere I turned, I saw people sitting outside of restaurants, leisurely drinking their coffee and wine. If only we had more time, I would’ve loved to do the same. Just observing the culture around me and how these people lived there made me want to ride a bike or sit along the River Seine while eating a baguette. Everyone seemed so relaxed with none of that constant on-the-go vibe you get from New Yorkers. It was so refreshing.

(The River Seine, near Notre Dame. See the people along the edge? I wanted to sit there and join them.. imagine that I did this every day too.)

Now it’s back to the real world and I’m going through Europe withdrawal. In a way, I think that’s why I’ve been having a hard time finishing this entry - I don’t want to stop talking about it yet! It was exactly the kind of experience I wanted for myself this year and while my bank account may hate me now, I’m glad I finally did this.

I can’t wait for my next adventure!

* * *

Culture Shocked is part of our Summer Series.