Red Velvet #1: Choose one word
Choose one word.
Choose one word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why. Imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you?
2011 - Try
I think than more any other year, I tried.
I tried to make the year more exciting for myself by telling one of my best friends that we should go to Europe. And we did! I don’t think I’ll ever forget the time I spent in London and Paris. It opened my eyes to a different world and culture. I still think about it all the time and how I want to go back again.
I tried to make the most of work even when I spent a lot of bus rides going home in tears. It’s been a really rough year but I have to admit, there have been good days too. Days where I feel like I do have a friend or two in the office, laugh over silly IMs and go on long coffee breaks. But more than ever, I’m sure of my position as being the best web developer there. And that’s a good feeling to have, even when I’d like nothing more than to slap the person sitting next to me. (I swear, I’m not always violent.)
I tried to be.. I don’t even know what, for my family. I’ve made no secret of describing myself as my family’s personal bank but it’s not always this awful thing. I like taking my nephew back-to-school shopping and I like that I can help my talented younger cousin graduate from college. I guess even though it stresses me out sometimes (a lot of the time), I’m always going to try to do what I can to help.
I tried (and am still trying) to make additional changes in my life to be more content with myself. I have insecurities just like everyone else but I think more than ever, I’ve tried not to let other people’s perceptions of who I am or should be bother me. Because deep down, I do like who I am (even when my not-so-pretty insecurities come out). I’m also finally trying to get a new job because it’s about time I moved on and found something I loved (or at least semi-love).
2012 - Hope
I’m really hopeful about 2012. It’s the end of the year and like I said, I’ve been trying to make some changes in my life. But I’m hoping those changes become a reality next year. New job, maybe move out of my house, meet a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong, I always have these hopes at the end of every year but things feel a little different this time.
For one, instead of just talking about redoing my portfolio and applying to jobs, I’ve actually done it. I’ve put thought into apartments I could possibly move in to. I reconnected with an old friend who might bring new people into my life. I think about these things a lot because I really want them to happen for me. And I’m hoping next year will be the year I get at least some of what I want.
