Couple of Crumbs

Funfetti: WEverb11 Prompts #8-18

AH! Can you believe I just wrote all of these, had only 3 to go, and they DISAPPEARED? I have no idea what just happened. So because of that, and how my heart is beating right now because I want to strangle someone, I am going to start from 18 and end with 8. It’s like Sesame Street but not. :) Enjoy!

#18. Teach

What lesson or advice were you able to pass on to others this year? Why was it important to share this information? (Or… what lesson would you like to pass on to others that read this?)

I think it would have to be communication. It can make or break a friendship, a relationship, a partnership or anything. Even if it’s ugly, even if it’s hurtful, it’s important to be honest and open with people in your life. In the end, everyone will feel better.

#17. Discover

 What did you discover (big or small) in 2011?

If anything, I discovered after all is said and done, I just want to be a writer. Like I have since I was a young kid. That doesn’t sound like a huge deal. It actually might sound silly to some people. But this year, my passion has been reignited even more and I’m ready to do something about it. And I guess I have been in small ways but now I’m admitting it to myself. That’s huge for me.

Describe something that disappointed you in 2011 and how you persevered.

There are some adults in our lives that have been generally disappointing. I think my husband and I have done as good of a job as we could staying strong and true to our convictions and just moving forward, with or without their support. We’ve been honest and said how we felt when they haven’t been the easiest things to say. We’ve made an effort to fix things and move forward and be happy. In general, since we first moved in together, Mr. FF and I have gotten better at making decisions and not letting the thoughts and ideas of others sway what we do or how we feel about them. It’s unfortunate not to have the support of people who love us but we know that we can move on and continue doing what we know is right for us.

#15. Surprise

What event of 2011 affected you in an unexpected way?

There are two very different projects I’ve been honored to be a part of this year and I have been so surprised by the amazing things I’ve gained since starting. I’ve made new (really good) friends, gained some awesome opportunities, and just been able to be a part of some fabulous, awesome communities.

#14. Breathe

How did you make space + peace for yourself in 2011?

I’m probably the worst at relaxing because I always have so much to do. (This happens when you have a long commute 5 days a week.) But I think taking time for myself even if it just meant planting myself in the guest room and watching a lot of my DVRed shows, or going to visit some gal pals. Taking a break for the night and just watching a movie with the hubster or an impromptu dinner out. Not to mention, the gym. THE GYM. For real. I feel my best after a work out.

#13. Read

What article or book changed your outlook on an issue or life?

I have no idea how I heard about this book but I took it out and was VERY surprised by my strong reaction to it. Donald Millers’ A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It’s about this writer who is trying to figure out his life  by talking about the decisions of others and certain moves he makes. It was really effective and hopeful. Here’s one of my favorite quotes. It’s a little depressing but it really hit home with me:

“I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their spouses, and they go looking for an easier story.” 

#12. Thrive

What was your healthiest habit of 2011? What would you like to change or do differently in 2012?

We certainly read a lot of Nutrition labels this year, and stopped having soda in our house. (We only have ginger ale and soda for parties now.) I’ve totally cut High Fructose Corn Syrup from my diet, which has been great. I just wish we had more time to go to the gym.

For my mind, I’ve been indulging in a lot of hobbies during my free time and after feeling brainless at work each day, it’s really improved my peace of mind and made me feel good.

In 2012, I hope I can find a balance between all the things I want to do and also be able to make a more consistant gym schedule. I want to take spinning classes or maybe take up running when I don’t want to go to the gym. I would love for us to continue to have better eating habits at home. (I also would like to lose 10 more pounds by my birthday, and then another 5 by June. That would be my happy weight.) Here’s to all of that happening!

#11. Try

What 12 new things do you want to do/accomplish in 2012?

1. Balance my time better.
2. Cut myself off from all electronics one in awhile.
3. Make more time for worthwhile friends, and reaching out to new ones.
4. Taking some time to volunteer.
5. Paying off credit cards. Not all of them, just a majority. Save some money and stop thinking I don’t have enough clothes in my closet.
6. Stress less, laugh more.
7. Starting something new in my workout routine.
8. Finally finish reading “Little Women” and indulging in a few more classics.
9. FOCUS. Stop feeling impatient, anxious, or feeling like I have to do 928349 things at once.
10. Be the most supportive wife I can be.
11. Start writing a novel.
12. Work on the small details of our home. (Light switch covers, more pictures, switching around 2 of the rooms… lots to do!)

#10.  Create

Share a creative project you undertook this year (art, writing, DIY, cooking, home decoration, crafts, photography … whatever comes to mind). How do you use your creativity to express yourself?

Ah this question is so hard when it comes to RV & I staying anonymous. I would have to say one of my favorite projects this year was painting a wall in my living room. I realize I sound very Pacey & Joey when I saw that. (Do you remember when Pacey bought her a wall for no reason at all? Swoon!) 

Here’s a picture to refresh your memory. Anyway, Mr. FF hated the idea of me painting the wall but you know what? In 2 years we still have not hung up any pictures in here, I’m not sure if more furniture would make it look better or just crowded so I thought the wall painting would make the room look “full”. I came up with the idea, and my sister and her best friend executed it when they came to visit. (Don’t worry, we bought them dinner!) It looks fabulous and even Mr. FF can’t argue with me. He likes it! He really likes it, and we’ve gotten a lot of compliments. Now I want to hang up a collage of frames over it but one thing at a time, I guess. :)

There are many ways to express creativity and without it I would be the most miserable person in the world. I’m happy to say I am able to destress by making cards, painting walls, brainstorming new projects, and writing.

#9. Appreciate

In which moment did you find yourself flooded with gratitude? How will you rally around gratitude in 2012?

I can’t stop talking about our wedding. But I can’t help it. It was the biggest thing to happen this year and sort of showcased my favorite moments I’ve had in a long time.

While I always feel grateful for my friends who were also in my bridal party, it was the morning of when we were sipping mimosas, listening to crazy Funfetti favorites on iTunes, waiting for our makeup and hair to be done — it was one of the best parts of wedding planning and the wedding day itself. We were laughing, have a great time, and it felt so thankful at that very moment to have these girls share my day with me like this.

I hate to be realistic but someday we may lose touch. Even if we can never imagine it now. We don’t know what will happen. But when I look back at those pictures and remember that morning, I know I made the very best decision when it came to my bridal party. Throughout the whole process, they were amazing even when I was changing my mind constantly, sending out a million emails, starting craft projects I didn’t understand fully… They were great sports and I’ll be forever thankful to them for being so supportive and calming during the whole crazy thing.

In fact, I wish I could go back and do that morning one more time. Mimosas, anyone?

#8. Choice

What was the biggest choice you made in 2011? What caused you to choose what you chose?

Getting married. I know a lot of people wouldn’t say this. I mean, I have never had any doubts about getting married to Mr. FF at all. If anything it was just logistics. Is this the right time? Are we rushing things? (We dated for a long time, and we had a long engagement so I’m not sure why this one kept popping up in my mind.)

Deciding this is the person you want to spend your life with is sort of a decision you make over a span of time. Do we have fun together? Do I like who I am with him? Do we have the same dreams for the future? And if we don’t, are we both willing to bend and compromise to make them happen for one another? Are you truly happy? Do you feel supported? Is our marriage sustainable for the rest of our lives? Without knowing what challenges we will face, who we will meet, where we will go, what jobs we may have… it’s really a lot to think about. I think too many people our age go into it blindly. Without thinking. They think EVERYONE else is getting married around them and it’s just the thing to do after you’ve been together for a long time. It’s the next step. I guess when I was young I never thought about people getting married who weren’t the “right” couple and yet I’ve met quite a few and it frightens me to no end. I know you can never know what goes on in a relationship and it’s between two people but still… there is that dreaded feeling you get sometimes.

Now I’m going off on a tangent. But I think everyone knows at least one couple like this, and we only hope they can grow together and make things work. Marriage is not a temporary thing, and when I have a bad day or even a good one and Mr. FF says something sweet, does something wonderful for me at home, I know I am the luckiest. He supports me, he encourages me, he cares about what is important to me even if he doesn’t get it, he never makes me feel like I can’t do anything or see anyone, he loves when I act silly, and he is probably one of the only people I can be my true self around. He’s not afraid to hold my hand in public or hug me really tight, or sing outloud when the mood strikes him, or dance a silly little dance to make me smile. He cares about my friends, cares about knowing my friends, cares about my sister like she is his own, and gets along so well with my family. He works hard at his job, only wants to do better, and cares about the people he works with and works for. I am so proud to be his wife, and I know, even though some days it will mean hard work, I’ve made the right decision for me.

(In lighter decisions, WHY DID I CUT MY BANGS THIS TIME? I’m just not feeling it and can’t wait until they grow out.)

Summer Lovin’: Family Vacation – All Grown Up, Times Two, & Figuring Out What To Do

Snackcake is a young woman in the midst of a great adventure. Snackcake lives with her wonderful husband in the Middle East, where she is now attending business school, playing house, exploring her surroundings, and trying to keep from melting in her toasty environment. Her motto: “unwrap a smile!”

Mr. Snackcake and I recently returned from a 10-day getaway to London and Paris.  While I had never really seen London and had always dreamed of visiting Paris, the locations were actually entirely secondary with this vacation. The trip was born out of the serendipitously overlapping European vacation schedules of my parents and my in-laws, who had independently made plans to visit London and Paris respectively, and who very much wanted to see my husband and I. Them coming to us during the month of Ramadan wouldn’t have made sense (lots of stuff closes and no food or drink is allowed in public during the day), and we were eager to escape the humid 120-degree weather, so tagging along on our families’ vacations was the perfect solution.

Early in the morning after my last final exam of the semester, we flew to London to spend 5 days with my parents before taking the train to Paris for 5 days with my parents-in-law, sister-in-law, and her husband. Like previous blogger and London/Paris tourist Fight the Future, I saw a whirlwind of sights in both locations, keeping busy and expanding my horizons by experiencing new things.

In London we took comprehensive walking tours, bus tours, and boat tours with amazing live guides. We saw Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, went on the London Eye, explored Westminster Abbey and the Tower of London, spent hours strolling around the Thames, traipsed through the markets of Notting Hill, and sat in several lovely pubs having quality family chats over delicious meat pies, fish ‘n chips, and ales.

 (London Eye… amazing views from here)

In Paris we followed maps and each other by foot around charming neighborhood after charming neighborhood, and people-watched from cute café after creperie after café. We took in the flavor of the city, seeing “the real Paris”, enjoying the yummiest treats, and soaking in the fabulous Parisian fashion and building styles. In the process we saw lots of famous sights – the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, La Conciergerie, Amelie’s café, the Moulin Rouge, etc. – and the wandering was supplemented by bus and boat tours (in the stereotypically disaffected French way rather than the enthusiastic British style, of course, but this only added to the experience!).

(Eiffel Tower!!!)

(Moulin Rouge… oohlala! We stayed nearby)

To be completely honest though, I’m not much for sightseeing in and of itself. My museum/monument/history attention span tends to be about 15 minutes! And with preparations for final exams taking over the weeks leading up to the trip, I hadn’t mapped out much of anything specific that I was dying to do in either location. Nonetheless, it worked out. Thanks to our families’ advanced planning, even I, the non-sightseer, had fun seeing sights.

But as great as London and Paris were, visiting with our families was much more the focus of the trip. Sightseeing served as the activity in the background, but sharing the experience and spending time with each other was the point of the trip. My sister-in-law is very pregnant at the moment, and getting to visit with her and her husband during that time and share the excitement was particularly special. Plus, during the course of the week we were able to celebrate my sister-in-law’s birthday, my birthday, and my dad’s 60^th birthday.

However, while I’m being honest, the trip wasn’t entirely what I expected either. Asked how the trip was, my kneejerk reaction would be to say “great!” in much the same way that I’d answer “how are you?” with some variation on “good” whether I’d just won the lottery or fallen gravely ill. And in this case, “great” would be a pretty accurate description of the vacation for all the aforementioned reasons. But it also skims over all of the challenges of participating in family vacations as an adult. For whatever reason, I hadn’t stopped to consider these dynamics in any kind of depth in advance of the trip, and found myself caught off guard.

Reflecting on childhood family vacations, inevitably after a certain number of hours of togetherness, one or more people would get fed up with the sharing of close quarters, lack of control over the course of events, or just with each other. A squabble would ensue, be resolved, and everyone would calm down, apologize, and move on. Unpleasant and imperfect as this system may have been, it always allowed me as a kid to release frustration and feel better. I never thought twice about being a nudge. As far as I was concerned, that was my job. I’d pick fights with my brother and make “Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet?” the soundtrack of long car rides, much to my parents’ chagrin, purely for my own entertainment. Looking back on it, I was mostly just being a brat! But my parents had the patience of saints and it made so many family vacations tolerable and fun for me.

s an adult, I like to think that I’m slightly less of a brat. I have less of a sense of entitlement when it comes to being selfish and making those around me miserable, even if they are family members who will love me no matter what. I still feel 100% at home with my family, no matter where we are, and am comfortable voicing preferences and displaying annoyance, but gone are the days when I could throw guilt-free temper tantrums and gripe openly about what my family is doing to embarrass me and what I’d rather be doing. This sense of responsibility to behave like a grown-up throughout the course of the trip proved to some extent to be an exercise in patience with my own family, but doubly so with my in-laws – though by no fault of their own!

o matter how wonderful they are (and they are wonderful), and no matter how much I consider them to be family (and I do), I think I’ll always walk on eggshells a bit more with them. I’ve always gotten the impression that he was a far better behaved child than I in most regards, and that the type of button-pushing I inflicted upon my parents growing up is not something he ever would have dreamed of pulling on his. So it is that, as an adult, Mr. Snackcake is still extremely accommodating – with everyone, including his family. This is a lovable quality about him, and I usually benefit from it more than anyone, but not in the case of the family vacation. After all, if he wouldn’t complain about anything to his own family, how could I? And so I felt the need to be even less imposing and became somewhat of an indecisive mute whenever any type of decision-making arose – whether I felt strongly about things or not. When it came to my own personal needs, I tried to communicate them via Mr. Snackcake through surreptitious glares or sharp elbow jabs to the ribs. Though poor Mr. Snackcake informed me time and again that try as he might he does not speak fluent mute glare, he displayed endless patience for my grown-up shenanigans.

We learned that on future family vacations, it will be worthwhile for us to play a more active role in setting agendas, booking comfortable places to stay, and making sure we’ve slept enough so as not to be exhausted upon arrival. More importantly though, I learned that grown-up family vacations are all about compromise. Everyone always wants everyone else to be happy, and while such efforts are admirable and good, sometimes the attempts to please everyone result in pleasing no one. Which is okay! In such settings I need to either find a calm voice and use it (as an alternative to the frustrated silent sulk I adopted throughout this trip or the familiar tantrums of yesteryear) or simply relinquish control, accept things as they come, and enjoy everything I can of the sights and the people.  

And now that I’m done ranting about the challenges of taking family trips without being able to whine like a child, I ought to mention that there were also plenty of perks to vacationing with our families as adults. Regardless of how little we took advantage of it, we did have a say in what we were going to do, and our opinions were weighted equally with the rest of the grown-ups. Also, having your own money goes a long way. While out and about, if we wanted a treat or souvenir, we could buy it on the spot rather than having to beg the parents. Paying our own way also meant that we could choose our accommodations. In London we sprung for a nice view in the hotel… because we could! In Paris, we ventured off into the city for several hours of alone time on my birthday… because we could! The freedom of adulthood is awesome, and while it can make the return to slow-to-evolve family dynamics a shock to the system, it also alleviates them to some extent.

While there are plenty of things I’d do differently if I could go back in time and repeat this trip, I miss both of our families already and would do it over again in a heartbeat, hands down. Above all, the opportunity to spend extended time with our loved ones was irreplaceable and is something that comes along far too infrequently these days. Someday I’m sure I’ll return to Paris on a romantic getaway with Mr. Snackcake, and I can only hope to vacation with both of our families again and again in the years to come. I’m a firm believer that in all things, practice makes perfect, and I think that learning how to travel with our families as adults is a skill we’re new to developing but which can be fine-tuned with each trip to set us up for family adventures that become smoother and smoother for us all in the future.

In the meantime, I’m pretty darn lucky in terms of the day-to-day life to which I’ve returned. With classes on break for the next several weeks, I’ve quite literally come home to a vacation from vacation. And being back home, despite finally having free reign to throw as many temper tantrums as my grown-up heart desires… I really can’t complain!

* * *

Family Vacation – All Grown Up, Times Two, & Figuring Out What To Do is part of our Summer Series.

Summer Lovin’: One Girl. Four Countries. Twenty-Five Days. (Part 4)

”Fight the future” is a shy cupcake who lives in her own little world. A pop culture geek, lover of languages and different cultures, and professional daydreamer, her mind usually takes her to mind-blowing places. She is fearless. If she sets her heart on something, she knows she will get it… or that’s what she likes to believe.

< Part 3 < Part 2 < Part 1

I wanted to get a ticket for Billy Elliot the Musical. Usually I don’t like musicals, but this was based on a film I adore and it received really good reviews. It was the right choice. I was blown away with the quality of the play and the richness of the characters; the talented cast performed as if it were the last show of their lives. Little did I know that one month later I would find myself comparing the miners’ strike and the clashes with the police portrayed in the play - which occurred in 1984 – with the images of the riots sweeping the country. Our world has changed so radically!

On the only sunny summer day in London, I went to Hampton Court Palace. If you’ve seen Showtime’s The Tudors you may recognise Henry VIII’s residence from the show. I took the train, crossed the bridge and went to the ticket booth. I walked into the palace and was greeted by a group of actors who, every two or three hours, would be playing out a scene in the courtyard or halls as if they were the characters who lived there in its glory days.

After spending the next day at the British Museum and at the Imperial War Museum, I desperately needed to relax.  I wandered through the streets of Piccadilly’s Circus, Trafalgar Square and Leicester Square, and I already felt at home. Maybe it was because I learned so much about that particular city in my English classes when we covered British culture. I was assigned books set in those very streets and I studied European history later too.  I had never stayed long in such a diverse society, so I felt I could mind my own business and be left alone. Nobody knew who I was, where I came from, and they didn’t care. I felt I knew where I was going, as if I was walking with a purpose and not like any other tourist.

I was in London and I was free.

On my last day history came alive in a different way during my stop at the Tower of London.  I was under my umbrella, looking around in the pouring rain, as I entered the first tower and I was completely overwhelmed by what was in front of me. I could picture the prisoners held there waiting to die, turning to a higher power, searching for hope or salvation within those walls.  Their carvings in the stones, 500-year-old graffiti, are still legible as a testament of the horrors they endured.

Around five in the afternoon the gates were closing so I went to the other side of London, across the Thames. Once I crossed the London Bridge I got to see a different side of the city and my imagination traveled back in time.  I saw it as a place where artists, prostitutes and alcoholics used to be  accepted.  A place where the dark tunnels and alleys reminded me of something I might have read in crime stories.  (Not all that scary in the daylight, but quite mysterious indeed!)

Later, I arrived at the Globe Theatre — I couldn’t leave without setting foot in that place! I loved listening to behind-the-scene stories of how productions happen today and how it was back then, in Elizabethan times. Then, I crossed the Millenium Bridge (a scene from Harry Potter came to mind!) and there, without even trying, I had found the most perfect view of London — St. Paul’s Cathedral.

My trip was now complete. I had gone to all the museums; I had been to all the landmarks and I had managed to make time to sit back and enjoy what was happening around me. It was time to say good-bye, pack my bags and return home.

… tune in tomorrow for Fight the future’s final reflections.

* * *

One Girl. Four Countries. Twenty-Five Days. is part of our Summer Series.

Summer Lovin’: One Girl. Four Countries. Twenty-Five Days. (Part 1)

”Fight the future” is a shy cupcake who lives in her own little world. A pop culture geek, lover of languages and different cultures, and professional daydreamer, her mind usually takes her to mind-blowing places. She is fearless. If she sets her heart on something, she knows she will get it… or that’s what she likes to believe. 

This summer, I decided to make one of my wildest dreams come true.
 
It started when my sister and I bought tickets for not one, but two music festivals - one of which included sleeping under the stars for three nights. But a suggestion from my sister turned it into something much different. I took the plunge and decided on a detour. Or a series of them.
 
Going on an adventure throughout Europe to see the sights I’ve always longed to see.
 
Solo.

Read More

Summer Lovin’: Opa! (Part 1)

Giggles is a 20-something graphic designer, discovering her love of travel. She also loves to cook, especially bake, and is trying to start her own bakery. Check out her blog where she writes about culinary adventures, make up, and photography.

I’ve always wanted to go to Greece because of those pictures you see on the Greek Isles calendars in Barnes & Nobles. But I have to admit, the real push to go to Greece came from watching the movie version of one of my favorite book series, The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. After wanting to go for years, my cousin J and I finally went on a 10-day tour of Greece, specifically Athens (2 days/1 day), Mykonos (3 days), and Santorini (2 days) recently!  Now, I don’t want to be negative about my trip, because I definitely enjoyed the views and the relaxation, and the views, and exploring. Did I mention the views? But unfortunately, anything that could have gone wrong, went wrong.
 
Getting to Greece was nothing short of a minor miracle because for some inexplicable reason, the tour company decided to send us to Montreal for a transfer flight to Athens, even though direct flights from New York were available.  And of course, we had less than 40 minutes to catch our flight!  But once we were on board and landed in Athens, we were smooth sailing.
 
Or so we thought…
 
Even though we left NJ on a Monday, our first official day of the trip was a Tuesday.  After having no more than 2 hours of total sleep in the last 24+ hours, and settling into our room at the Acropolis Select, J and I decided to go exploring and grab some lunch, since we didn’t have to meet our group till later that evening (we quickly made friends with E and S, from Toronto).  During lunch, I started to feel symptoms I’ve felt before - signs of dehydration.
 
Oh crap.

Needless to say, I didn’t eat more than a few bites of grilled octopus (which was a staple for most of the meals I could eat) and chicken souvlaki, and drank a bunch of water. I think it was the combination of the plane, the super strong sun, and the food, but I couldn’t eat anything except for toast and pita, a few bites of things here and there to try, and a butt-load of Gatorade for the first 8 days of my trip.

The street to lunch.

Despite this setback, we ventured on. So we decided to explore Athens on our own.  We walked around the Acropolis (Acropoli), which is an incredibly long walk with amazing views of nearby towns/villages, and of course the Parthenon.  Even though I knew I was there in Athens, it didn’t feel like it was real - the thought of me being in Greece hadn’t kicked in.

The Parthenon {R} and arch wall {L}.

One of the other highlights besides the Acropolis that day, was when J and I asked (well, J asked since I felt like crap) a pair of firefighters where the nearest “water closet” (WC) a.k.a restroom was.  We thought he was telling us that “we had to go in the trees.”  Apparently he meant it was a small stone building hidden behind the trees.  Can I add, that most of the officials (police and fire people) were ridiculously good looking in Greece?!  I actually wanted to go back on our last day of the tour to ask if they wanted to hang out with us… and I NEVER want to do that.  

The fire fighters were at the end of this walkway.

Read More